Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
