Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
