ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
