Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
