I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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