But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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