I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
