All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
