what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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