Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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