You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
