Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
COCAINE IS GR8
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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