we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
