Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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