Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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