I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
