when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize