I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
