morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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