Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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