Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
