I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
