Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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