i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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