on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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