I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
