mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This house was built for laser tag.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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