You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
