Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
