does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I want is dick and wine.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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