Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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