she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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