I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
