I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is wine microwaveable?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
