double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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