Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
