I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
