It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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