The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The best revenge is premature balding
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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