two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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