Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
