I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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