I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
