So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
