So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
