rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
