Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
