mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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