I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
