Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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