i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
