this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
