The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
