How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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