I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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