i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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