I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize