i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
