suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
