dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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