Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize