do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
